Is Troy Going To Super Bowl?

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I’m in a bit of a conundrum. The Nagging Spouse Challenge is at its end. (That’s not the conundrum. The Nagging Spouse has no end.) The problem is whether Troy is going to Super Bowl.

So here’s the deal. I will set before you, judge and jury, the results of the Nagging Spouse 90 Day Six Pack Challenge because ultimately, Troy’s prize is in your hands.

I took this yesterday in our kitchen. Not exactly a six-pack…

Troy says, “If you close one eye and squint the other…”

On the one hand, I value justice, integrity, true-to-your-word grit. Sometimes that means I’m not very nice. (Just ask my kids.) I’m not really an A-for-effort kind of person. What kind of challenge would it be if everyone won? This side of me says that Troy is not going to Super Bowl 2017.

But then there’s the other hand, the one that massaged Troy’s tired muscles and filmed him sweating his way through a three-mile run. The hand that served him meal after meal of kale/brussel sprout/spinach surprise (which he ate, without complaint, most of the time). Despite my desire to be fair, I also feel Troy deserves credit for the last grueling 90 days. More than just, “Well, you did your best. Close, but no cigar.” See, I’m not as mean as my kids think I am. And it’s not like he didn’t accomplish anything. He slaved away, made sacrifices (cue sober-holiday sad face) and TRANSFORMED before my very eyes.

So I’m going to do what most people when faced with a difficult decision. I’m going to delegate it. To you.

I’m taking a vote!

The polls are open and Troy’s fate is in your hands. 👊🏻

P.S. If I would have really done my research, I would have known that Super Bowl is stupidly expensive. Yeah, I pretty much screwed the pooch on that one. No new car for me anytime soon.

 

 

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What’s a Mulligan?

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For those of you keeping count, you might notice that the Nagging Spouse 90 day challenge should be coming to its end. Surely, you’re on pins and needles for a progress report. 

The official end day should be December 28th. However, I’ve extended the challenge until December 31st, New Year’s Eve, for a couple reasons. 

  1. I like the sound of it better. New year, new Troy. Dawn of a new era. That kind of thing. This is assuming there is a new Troy or new era.
  2. Mulligans, as Troy calls them. Halloween, my birthday(s), parties, Christmas, etc. – unavoidable pitfalls in Troy’s quest for a six pack. As judge, jury and executioner, I have forgiven him 3 days for these pitfalls. Graceful, I know. 😌 What’s a Mulligan, you ask? Here.
  3. He came down with a bug on Christmas Eve. 😷Did that stop him from exercising EVERY day? No ma’am. Did that keep him sick longer? Probably. Moderation… He doesn’t do that.

So stay tuned…

The Power of Aligned Goals

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Regardless of how you feel about the Patriots, there is no denying that they have dogged fans. In our family, we all get Patriots jerseys as Christmas “presents” almost every year. (One of these years, I’m going to buy Troy an anthology of poetry or ballroom dancing lessons as his “present”)img_9089

When I wear one of my many Patriots jerseys, I realize just how many sleeper Patriots fans there are in San Diego. People randomly fist bump me just for the shirt I’m wearing. I don’t have the heart to tell them that I’m not exactly the comrade they think I am. :-/

So when Troy wore one of his Patriots hats, to his Fitwall class, it wasn’t surprising that someone high-fived him for it. But it wasn’t just someone, it was one of the people helping turn his keg into a six-pack. And when she heard what the stakes were, HE gained a comrade.

1-the-power-of-aligned-goalsJen, (The Instructor) like all die-hard Patriots fans, wants her team to go to Super Bowl. Troy (The Sweaty Guy), wants to go to Super Bowl, preferably to see his team play. And I (The Nagging Spouse), want Troy to go to Super Bowl because that means he’s in the best shape of his life. And I’d prefer to see the Patriots, since I have the jersey and all. 😉

Now… if Jen does her part… and Troy does his part… and the Patriots do their part, everyone will be happy. Especially me.

 

Day 19 of 90 Day Challenge – Progress Report

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Troy is still in the game!

Tom Brady’s performance on Sunday helped. But more than the tease of Super Bowl, the pressure joy of seeing everyone follow and comment on his progress has been keeping him motivated.

And Troy is inspiring people too! We’re getting calls and texts from friends to report that they went for their first run (shout out, you-know-who), or made a spinach omelette or started a whole food plan or just tried apple cider vinegar for the heck of it. Guys! This is so cool! I am giddy about it! This is my giddy face.

 

Yeah, I know.

So the progress…

Troy personally feels that his biggest accomplishment thus far is coming home from a Fitwall class and victoriously proclaiming, “Finished the class and didn’t even feel like I was going to puke! Progress!” Fist bump, high five, nagging supportive spouse kiss. You rock, babe!

One of the hardest things about weight loss is well, it’s hard. And it takes more time than any exercising dieter thinks it should. “Don’t look at the scale!” the professionals scold. But how, when you’re working your butt off, do you not peek at the scale, in the hopes of seeing pounds flying off. Or not flying off.

Troy “peeked”. So far, he’s lost 5 pounds.

But he’s lost 2 inches off his waist. And various other inch-fractions off his body, except his chest and legs. They’ve grown. (How much, you ask? Well, I don’t know. Because, in my single-minded measuring, I didn’t think about the fact he would PUT ON muscle. What a noob.) 

He’s also up to 4 pull-ups at a time. Only 4 pull-ups, you say? Try it.

It can’t be that hard, I said. Then I did a single, sorry pull-up, fish-kicking the whole way. (Head hung low) 

 

 

Troy’s first pull-up.

So we’re truckin! He’s enjoying tolerating a diet high in veggies and protein without anything processed. It’s not for the sophisticated palette, but he’s a trooper.

He’s also in the Fitwall 6 week challenge so that’s, well, challenging. Walking, running, bike riding, garage gym sessions, he’s doing a bit of everything. Overall, he’s spending his days in motion.

Random share:

The other day, I had a fussy baby in one arm and a pestering toddler underfoot. The phone was ringing and I had just knocked over the box of granola. Frustration isn’t the right word.

Through this, Troy is nowhere to be found. Typical, I think. I bet he’s hiding somewhere playing solitaire on his phone. Finally, he walks out of the bathroom with a skip in his step.

“Where have you been?!” I snap. Rhetorical question, obv.

“Weight loss program!” he chirps.

And despite myself, I have to laugh. So crass! But he cracks me up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“You’ll like this,” she said. (Troy’s First Butt-Kicking workout)

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I got the mental play-by-play from Troy in the car right after.

1st minute – It’s only a 40 minute work out, I can do this.

4th minute – I’m the only dude here besides the two instructors, and they’re ripped!

7th minute – Holy crap, this is tough. And there’s still 33 minutes to go!

10th minute – (self talk) Can’t – show – weakness. You can do this Troy.

13th minute – (more self talk) There’s no way I’m finishing. Get ready to hang your head low in front of all this fit ladies.

15th minute – I think I am going to puke.

16th – 38th minute – Nauseated, sweaty blur interrupted by the occasional break to bring the heart rate from the verge of explosion back down to max rate.

39th minute – Oh thank you Jesus, I can do stretches and drink the coconut water like the best of them.

Instructors – “Good job Troy” (LIARS!!) “See you next week.”

Troy – “Thanks” (But I doubt it)

#hardestworkoutever

 

Post workout face. Mr. 🌞 “You’ll like this,” she said.

A Six-Pack in 90 Days – THE GAME PLAN

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1! 2! 3! GO!

As Troy is fond of reminding me, he already has a six-pack. It’s just lovingly protected by a thick layer of hard-earned beer belly. Enact: Operation Beer Belly.

game-plan1GAME DAY PLAN – 1800-2200 calories a day of…

High fat – But good fat, the kind that burns fat. Avocados, coconut oil, butter; they make everything so much yummier!

Low carb – That not only means no sugar, minimal fruit but no gluten. That means ZERO pasta, pizza, or french bread for this fun-loving Italian boy (and therefore withdrawals).

No Dairy – Since cheese is the milk-and-honey of my life, I can’t imagine this. Kudos to you, Troy.

High protein – Meat, nuts, eggs, more eggs and you guessed it…. eggs.giphy

High Veggies – With cruel emphasis on extra good stuff like swiss chard, kale and butternut squash. Troy’s favorites. (Heeheehee) Sorry not sorry.

Splurge day – Following Tim Ferriss‘s school of thought on this one. (Troy’s a fan) In the Four Hour Body, Ferriss purports that a splurge is not only good for psyche, it prevents your metabolic rate from dropping. Other sources show leptin levels drop with calorie restriction. I know this because… well… because Troy researched it to back up his position. So for 24 hours each week, Troy plans to PIG out. The theory goes like this…

Troy’s Body: “I’m soooo hungry! Wasting away! Must preserve fat to save body from certain destruction.”

Troy: “Sorry about that. Here’s some ravioli/cheeseburger/ burrito/meatball sub/philly cheesesteak. See?  No need to worry. Now… there you go… let go of the love handle. Nice and easy.”

While The Nagging Spouse naysayed this element of the plan because it seemed counter-productive, I knew I was facing certain anarchy if Troy couldn’t drink wine and eat Taco-flavored Doritos (and then more wine) every now and then. Also, Troy is the hangriest person I know, so 6 out of 7 days will be no joyride for either of us. Alas, the seventh day.

kickoff-clipart-kickoffTHE KICKOFF – We are starting with a baseline. With some basic blood work and tests of strength and endurance, we’ll know the work he has cut out for him(us). I’ll keep you posted.

 

football-clip-art-freeEXECUTION

5 x 10 pushups every day

Walk 10,000 steps every day

As many pull-ups as he can do at a time

Strength Training 3-5 times a week with friend/personal trainer

Basic nagging from the spouse to ride bikes, swim with kids, house repair, soccer with daughter, etc, etc. It all counts, people!

THE EXTRA POINT – Just because Troy overdoes EVERYTHING, he has a few add-ons:

Apple Cider Vinegar – I believe in gut flora but since I can’t seem to convert him to my homemade Kombucha, he has opted to shoot Apple Cider Vinegar. (How insulting, right?) Shooting Apple Cider Vinegar is a form of self-inflicted torture. But I’m going to film it so we can enjoy his “un-enjoyment” it together. 😁

Vitamins – This part of the plan was mostly Troy. He chose supplements from The Grain Brain. They are basics like vitamin D, DHA, Turmeric, Resveratrol, Alpha Lipoid Acid and a probiotic. No silver bullets. Sorry Troy. #NoShortcutsToHealth

TOUCHDOWN!touchdown-2

Troy’s Goals                                                          

Six-Pack Abs

To run a 5k in under 30 minutes

More cardio stamina

50 pushups (in a single set)

10 pull-ups (in a single set)

The Nagging Spouse’s Goals 

A fit husband who has…

Tons of energy

A healthy cholesterol level

Normal blood pressure

Functioning liver (despite years of pickling)

Six-Pack Abs and chiseled torso (See how I listed this last to imply selflessness?)

42! 63! 91! HIKE!

 

The Nagging Spouse Resorts to Bribery

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I’LL TRADE YOU – A SIX-PACK FOR SUPER BOWL

Hi. I am… The Nagging Spouse

It’s somewhat of a misnomer because, personally, I see myself more as a helper, a reminder, an encourager, a guide. But apparently some people find my constant guidance annoying. Weird.

Let me start somewhere else.

img_3757This is my husband, Troy. He’s my hero, my best friend, my comedic relief. He makes my life fun. And that’s because he’s fun. A little snarky. A little playful. A little stubborn.

He needs to live a long time because we have big plans with our senior years. Simple things like globe-trotting and spelunking in Borneo.

So I might nag him a smiiiiiidge to cut down the alcohol intake, swap the occasional bag of potato chips for carrot sticks and up the cardio. His blood pressure is high, his cholesterol too. And his liver, well, I can only imagine. These things are not fitting into my marriage story. Continue reading